Back to civilization! In a post-retreat
stupor with a suitcase full of damp clothes - smelling like bug spray, sweat, and mezcal. The jungle was REAL, those workouts were REAL, that pause was REAL, the relationships formed were REAL! Also the the exhaustion is REAL! You may have all received an email from my Yahoo account yesterday because my website and gmail (which l learned are LINKED!) were down. The universe found it really funny to welcome me back after a week of being offline and out of reach, to keep me offline and out of reach. I see what you did there, universe. Still waiting for the punchline.
So if you received my email from the ol' YAHOO account, thank you for bearing with me as I got back on my high speed feet. It felt like the days before this fancy blog template, when I was like Ebenezer Duck sitting over a candle lit quill and stack of blank papers, in an ankle length night gown. Very fitting image considering the past week, which I'll go into. It's all back and running now but to those of you that have sent messages to me in the last 10 days, thank you for being patient if I haven't responded yet. I'll get back to you I promise.
Most of you know I just had my big retreat of the year, 9 days away in the JUNGLE! A truly Powerful Pause on the coast of Nayarit in Sayulita. It was BIG in every way. The anticipation was big, over a year of planning. The jungle was big, I call it the unapologetic jungle. The group was the biggest yet, 30 incredible humans coming from all corners of the US...even the tiny chain of islands in the middle of the Pacific. It was a bigger endeavor and further destination. Bigger risks being in another country and more complicated logistics. Coming out of big dependancies and having to take big deep breaths to surrender to being completely offline, off all the beaten paths. Also bugs were not small - BIG. They were big. Food portions were big. The cathartic release was REAL big. It was also a bigger concept bringing two worlds together, Pilates + Yoga. With that comes big nerves, teaching to the unknown of new faces and new bodies.
What I found ironic though, is to get through all the big and hard, the approach had to be simple and small. All the big waves of inevitable nervousness and doubts of going so big, you have to conquer in small steps. If you look up at the proverbial and literal windy overgrown steep stairs to get to where you need to go, and try to process all those stairs and challenging elements at once you won't even bother. Too overwhelming. It has to be one small step at a time.
The first night I was in the casita I was alone, and it was a wet sweaty slap of my new reality. No electricity, very hot and sticky, and very dark. I discovered my fan did not have enough batteries and the matches were too damp to light anything. That was a BIG adjustment. One that I could have (and might have) had a red-faced panty panic attack over. The tears and sweat congealed at one point to add extra wet to the already wet. However it took one small match to strike and catch to bring enough light. That small amount of light to help me find a power cord for my fan. In hindsight that one night was so small compared to the rest. An important small learning curve to prepare for - and be better at the rest of the nights.
The first class I taught, I had a BIG bunch of incredible humans staring at me. All different bodies, ages, flying in from all different parts of the country. They also come from different places in life and have very different reasons for being there. It's easy to get overwhelmed with how big this is and feel paralyzed with pressure. How am I going to tend to them all? What's the one big thing I can say to reach them all? What's the big move that will land and give them everything they need? I had to calm down and realize I can't bite off big with big. I had to get there by building one class at a time - one simple move at a time. Getting to know one person at a time, so slowly the large mass of new faces became individual familiar faces. It's being patient in the process and conquering the scary and intimidating moments in smaller more digestible bites.
I knew coming back wasn't going to be glitch free either, there will be a big stack of catch up work and some time to acclimate back to the colder temperatures, faster pace, and school routines. I did not expect for the glitchy slow moving wheel to not even move at all. Getting back from being offline and in the dark, only to still be offline and in the dark. It's a big problem. Especially seeing that on the last day we were doing our last (sticky) hugs trying to hang onto our glow and were desperate to stay connected - I assured everyone that they could find me online. Only to discover they actually couldn't! Every minute I was offline felt like DAYS. I could focus on how BIG of an issue that is, or just take all the small doable steps to take care of it. Practice all the beautiful lessons I learned in that unapologetic jungle. Be patient with the conditions, be present and separate each obstacle, and do not snowball it all together ... one small step at a time.
This week in the studio lets focus on small movements that lead to big intimidating movements. Taking them in as doable bites so they are less scary and overwhelming. Not trying to rush progress or congeal our sweat and tears. Also being patient with your progress. The assurance that the hard stuff doesn't last forever.
Pro Jungle Tip: If you feel like you're about to cry in a hot jungle, spray bug spray on your face! It acts like a varnish on your skin and naturally separates the tear drops and sweat beads.
Excited to make your bodies sweat, smile, and take BIG scary leaps with small doable steps.
XO!
Celeste
Reminder I AM BACK ONLINE! Check out all things Pilaticising: Pilatecising.com
"Little by Little.
A Little Becomes a Lot."
~ Tasmanian Proverb
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